Last updated 28/06/2010 08:07:52
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The Alternative Fortean Times
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Panzerben's Combat Diary 29 for December 2005
And February 2006
Webmaster Stephen Peverley. steve@kingston-design.fsnet.co.uk
Combat diaries email is: sharkley1@panzerben1.fsworld.co.uk
UK SERVERS report 3,000,000 hits
Updates for week ending January 1st 2006
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Tsunami Debris: Humans are Worse Michael Casey Press Here
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Internet Warfare Erik Larkin Press Here
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Depleted Uranium Again Robert Hirschfield Press Here
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Playing with the Mind Thoth Press Here
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Rat-Brained Interceptors Philip Sherwell Press Here
Updates for week ending January 9th 2006
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How Far Down The Rabbit Hole? Frosty Wooldridge Press Here
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My Brain Is Not Silly Putty ! Michael Goodspeed Press Here
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The Kecksburg UFO Crash Brian Vike Press Here
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911 - Too Hot To Handle? Douglas Herman Press Here
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Quantum Teleportation Vlad Tarko Press Here
Updates for week ending January 16th 2006
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Have South American 'Imps' Returned? Scott Corrales Press Here
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Did God Create Aliens? Neil Mackay Press Here
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Intelligence Indications Wayne Madsen Press Here
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Ghoul's Paradise Sean Cracraft Press Here
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9/11 Timeline Paul Thompson Press Here
Updates for week ending January 23rd 2006
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Satanic Abuse Scandal Neal Snowdon Press Here
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Theatre of the Mind Jeffrey Foss Press Here
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Coal is still Here Adam Geller Press Here
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Skinwalker review and Strange Airplanes in Chinese Skies Jane Ann Morrison Press Here
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The National Security Agency’s UFO Investigations. Leonard David Press Here
Updates for week ending January 30th 2006
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The Psychology of Suicide Bombings Monique Matalon Press Here
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Satanic abuse: Town in shock David Edwards Press Here
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300 million Americans in 2006 Sam Roberts Press Here
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Past the Point of No Return Michael McCarthy Press Here
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Disgraced Cloning Pioneer could keep Barry Fox Press Here
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his Patents and join the Raelians!
Updates for week ending February 6th
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What Happened to the Robot Age? Jonathan Duffy Press Here
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Pokeback Mountain: Hymn to Dysfunction Henry Makow Press Here
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Forced Settlements In Child Abuse Cases Gillian Flaccus Press Here
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Plants Behave like Humans Don Burke Press Here
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Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World Roger Ebert Press Here
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Watch Out, Sony Rootkits About! Anon Press Here
Updates for week ending February 13th
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The Plutonium Question Anon Press Here
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The Silence of 9/11 Families Greg Szymanski Press Here
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Tunguska: Fire In The Sky Part 1 David Talbott Press Here
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American Hunger Julian Edney Press Here
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Beyond Human Christopher Caldwell Press Here
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To see all TWELVE of the cartoons,.. Press Here
Updates for week ending February 18th
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Check out Martin Stubbs’ video of secret NASA transmissions showing UFOs http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-9080369676973948865&q=ufo
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Cartooning the Sacred oliverhaddo Press Here
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Vonnegut's Blues For America Kurt Vonnegut Press Here
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New H-bomb Project Ian Hoffman Press Here
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Mothman Death Curse and Firewall Loren Coleman Press Here
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Tunguska: The Fire in The Sky - Part 2 David Talbott Press Here
Updates for Week Ending 26th February 2006
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Chukanov Quantum Free Energy Sterling D. Allan Press Here
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Moving to Europe
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911: Physics, Engineering, Philip Sherman Gordon Press Here
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Ethics and Politics.
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Spooky Action and Beyond Anton Zeilinger Press Here
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UFO Sightings Worldwide Brian Vike Press Here
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Mini-Nukes Galore Michel Chossudovsky Press Here
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Detention Cam Jitters Maureen Farrell Press Here
Site Pick of the Week:
Check out http://www.new-enlightenment.com/life_awakening.htm
Dr. Norman D. Livergood took the Chair of Artificial Intelligence for the United States Army War College, and was also Multimedia Specialist, 1993 – 1995
WARNING!
Impure Unlicensed Product! Consume at your Own Risk!
For the Latest Eschaton News (click here)
For Your Very Own Christmas Intellectual Sex Orgy
Christmas Greetings from the Combat Diaries
First Earth Battalion, standing by for the Coming of the Rapture (press here)
To the left is a photo on the front of a tattered and stained copy of the Quorn Pork Scratchings News. It shows a dishevelled and rather forlorn Father Christmas fleeing Brentford Leisure Centre well before Christmas after drinking a toast in Quorn Chistmas Enema Fruit Essence by mistake.
On the right we see Zelda Blum, New Age Jewish intellectual from L.A. getting ready for the Rapture and keeping fit for her New Year series of lectures on Artificial Intelligence. George (“everybody’s no good at something”) Mensche comments below.
The George Mensche
Column
“If this is Intelligent Design, I wish I’d gone to Canada with our Fred”
“My wife can never afford the kind of problems she’d like to have”
(quotes from Zelda’s AI computer dialogue)
Zelda Blum’s Lectures in Intelligent Virtual Futurology look as if they are going to be one of the main events of 2006.
She is the creator of what have become known as “Blum Decision States.”
Such a State has been described as the Ultimate Development of the Fuzzy Switch.
Zelda says that if Artificial Intelligence is to become more than a mere bundle of clever spanners, these Decision States must satisfy the following conditions:
“They must be capable of wasting time.”
Not in a Protestant country, Zelda!
“They must be capable of deciding to withdraw their own labour.”
Not in a capitalist country, Zelda!
They must be capable of subverting themslves.”
Not in a scientific culture, Zelda!
“They must be capable of lying and cheating.”
Not in a democratic culture, Zelda!
“They must be capable of taking their own life and laughing at themselves as they do so.”
Not in a Christian country, Zelda!
“They must be capable of making up their own mind and opinions without any promotions.”
Not in a commercial culture, Zelda!
Click Chapter headings to access the files
Contents of Diary 29 for December, 2005
Chapter 1: Remote Viewing Underground UFO bases Sandy Frost
Chapter 2: When the Lights Go Out Brian Appleyard
Chapter 3: Electromagnetic Warfare Carolyn Palit
Chapter 4: The CIA and Mind Control John Marks
Chapter 5: UFO Crash Retrieval Symposium Peter Robbins
Chapter 6: Nazi Connection to Death of JFK JeffreySteinberg
Chapter 7: Bell Curve of the Inequality IQ Charles Murray
Chapter 8: 21st Century Child Slavery Andrew Cockburn
Chapter 9: The Early History of Computers Stan Augarten
Chapter 10: Retrievals of the Third Kind Part 1 Leonard Stringfield
Chapter 11: Mothman: the Coming of the Doll Folk Colin Bennett
Chapter 12: The Control of Candy Jones Colin Bennett
Chapter Review
See Chapter 2 above
see Chapter 8 above
see chapter 9 above
Special Feature 1: the Atomic Bomb (click here)
Special Feature 2: The U-2, OXCART, and the SR-71 (click here)
Editorial
Editor Panzerben briefs his assault squad prior to yet another raid on the Sceptical HQ in Brentford Leisure Centre, the lair of the Magonian Pelicans.
Dearly Beloved,
Brentfordisation or the Quorn Clap
Yet once again the Combat Diaries and its Editor are the targets of that last piece of pre-cyber England called Magonia magazine. This journal appears to be permanently in the grip of what Nobel Prize winner Professor Brian Josephson calls a state of pathological disbelief, or what the Combat Diaries call the Brentford Panic, or Sceptical Dementia.
Certainly mail-order Magonia (circulation 750!) represents the greatest collection of mute inglorious Miltons that ever graced a Brentford Parish pump. One imagines them gathered in the Leisure Centre correcting town council minutes about broken paving, and getting together a pronunciation dictionary for the names of local traffic wardens and Psychiatric Social Workers. It appears that chronic sceptics are a permanent feature of Unintelligent Design. All have been effectively Brentfordised, which means you can smell their feet in a downwind from the Leisure Centre.
We include in this issue a view of Magonia magazine by Stuart Miller published recently in Phenomena magazine. In talking of John Rimmer (the Brentford Polonius, Editor of Magonia magazine) Miller mentions that dinosaur’s graveyard which goes by the name of the UFO Udates List. Whilst this is the perfect ledger-clerk stomping ground for John Rimmer, he appears as an angel of light compared to such opposing UFO Believers as Dick Hall and Jan Aldrich.
They alone compile enough case-history documentation sufficient to warm the heart of Franz Kafka and cause wart hogs to drop dead, cross-eyed with grief. The UFO Updates List represents the small-time clerking as has nearly brought Ufology to dust, and the reason why it has not progressed much beyond American suburban garage-thinking of the 1950s. This Editor was once a contributor to this List, and the resistance to new ideas from such old village-hall codgers as Hall and Aldrich had to be seen to be believed. The reading and educational backgound was so hillbilly catsup I don’t think any of them had ever heard of Borges or Barthes, and certainly not Susan Sontag! It was lower-middle-class metal-bashing all the way by mid-grade managers swamped by myriad details of myriad case-histories. No wonder the skeptics (most far more intellectually advanced) made mincemeat of the Believers.
The resistance to raw Ufological experience on the Updates List was profound. It all had to be sorted, documented, defined, this being a procedure straight out of Kafka’s story The Giant Mole. The result was that raw experience was distilled out of all recognition. They would then proceed to demolish people who claimed UFO experiences, calling them eccentric, mad, confused, hoaxed, and did the skeptics job for them for the most part. They also practised the most savage Maoist-like interrogations of folk who claimed abductions.
All in all, this List showed the classic anthropological characteristics of a social group in an advanced state of decay. Certainly Hall and Aldrich fought new ideas as the old cavalry regiments fought the tank and mechanization. The result over the years saw scores of self-published books on UFOs from “researchers,” most of which read now like wiring diagrams for a De Lorean. At the same time as Ufology is undergoing a crisis in which its very existence is threatened a most curious situation has come about. The number of UFO sightings is on the increase. Fortunately for Ufology, Maccabee, Friedman, and Jerry Clark survived the wreckage and gave us Ufological achievements second to none. I may here include the theoretical physicist Jack Sarfatti, whose work with Ken Shoulders is near the secret of UFO propulsion.
After satirizing the UFO Updates List baboonage mercilessly, I left long ago for to launch the Combat Diaries and to write my prize-winning autobiography of Charles Fort, Politics of the Imagination
In this issue, Josh of SMUG (http://www.smug.com/contents.html) gives us a view of another British sceptical magazine, the Fortean Times This publication is part of the Magonian sceptical conspiratorial axis, since they have the same associate editors. As Josh says, the Fortean Times is a politically-correct, non-controversial jolly-hockey-sticks magazine, a veritable temple of Bohemian squeaky-clean paranoid sceptical conservatism. It is edited by the Strutting Tuffy (see our most popular ongoing serial below) and his forlorn friend, with the Manager (the Fried Slice) in obedient attendance. The Manager only comes in useful when he screams down the phone at me threatening the Combat Diaries with legal action. My reply was to threaten him with prosecution in turn, because in my opinion the use of Charles Fort’s name on his journal’s masthead represented a violation under the Trades Description Act.
As Carol Vorderman’s anus is probably as clean as her kitchen top, the rosy-cheeked Fortean Times is clean of all conspiracies, political dirt, scandals, UFOs, Men in Black, and EBE J-Rods, not to mention sexy pictures. It is also clear of that Fortean bouquet of hippopotomi called the irrational. In the Fortean Times all we hear about are the red-speckled frogs found in rice puddings, and the leaning lamp posts of Patagonia. All things magical, transcendental, abstract, absurd, or mystical (and especially political) are denied as they are denied in Magonia magazine. The only difference is in the Quorn-Zombie packaging. This magazine in its present state and under its present title is a standing insult to the name and ideas of Charles Fort, and brings his name into disrepute. For goodness sake, don’t these people realise that Charles Fort was the world’s first Ufologist? The pages of his four books abound in examples of the seeing of Unidentified Flying Objects of all kinds.
Should anyone think that the Alternative Fortean Times is being unfair to the Fortean Times in our constant criticism, then let them look at the current issue with its blanket put-down of the Rendlesham Forest UFO incident by guess who – non other than the Village Postmistress and Tonto! How dare the people at the Fortean Times have the cheek to have an article written by two out-of-date sceptical sad-sacks such as this pair and ignore completely the major books on Rendlesham by Georgina Bruni, Nick Pope, and Peter Robbins? They should bring in a star performer as their UFO editor, someone like Nick Pope, Jerry Clark, or Timothy Good.
The current Fortean Times is a depressing issue which has rightly earned the magazine the sub-title of the English Sceptical Enquirer. Arch-sceptic Peter Brookesmith is back, and there is even an article on how to fake UFO photographs – what is the point of this? Everyone in the world knows that these days even a ten-year-old can fake twenty such things in five minutes! Who does the Fortean Times thinking they are kidding with all this crap? The connection with the thinking of Charles Fort has been severed forever with such attempted murder of such live cultural forms as the UFO. We at the Combat Diaries will spare no effort to expose the lies, disinformation, sceptical propaganda and misinformation spread by the Fortean Times in this area.
The trouble is that this magazine does not have an editor any longer. This guy in charge (if he is in charge) is out of his mental depth, and is little more than a good print manager. He has no Fortean concept, if he even understood what that means. In his hands the magazine looks superb until you start to read it and realise that this is a blatant conspiratorial operation, and laid on heavily at that. Mark our words – this manager will be with Vanity Fair next year, and he won’t even see or know the difference, except in his pay packet!
Included in this issue of the Combat Diaries are a couple of articles I wrote for the Fortean Times before they were taken over by an intensely sceptical anti-American cult positively scientological in its intensity (Brookesmith, Devereux, Pilkington, “Tuffty” Seiveking et al). They have become counter-culture classics in their way and so I have made them available..
The Concept of Intention in Cosmological Models
There has been a lot of talk recently on the Web about what constitutes intention in cosmological models. For the Renaissance of course the intention vector was still intact within the cosmological system. Mind and Nature were one synthesis. (Lear’s “blasted heath,” the castles of both Macbeth and Hamlet were large-scale holistic images of operational consciousness uniting social and individual vectors. In this projection, moral issues (rarely mentioned on this List!) were embedded in the concept of Greek Tragedy and the idea of Telos (from Aristotle’s Poetics) as inherited by Shakespeare and his contemporaries. Intention was part of a unified field consisting of animal, vegetable, and mineral elements (see Tillyard’s The Elizabethan World Picture). Without such a view, “science” is left with the classic Faustian problem: is knowledge for the sake of knowledge a good thing? Robert Oppenheimer was for example, haunted by this rather Hamlet-like question.
We can see the idea of such an intention vector gradually deteriorating as we move towards Descartes and the development of mathematical and “scientific” systems. Whilst such “objective” systems have achieved what they have achieved, we still keep a whole field of anomalistic experiences open as a series of gaming options to let us out of the cultural trap we have built for ourselves.
In a recent essay for Phenomena magazine (see below) I have applied the analysis of such an intention vector to the extraordinary experiences of Lee Harvey Oswald and the well-known “magic bullet” theory.
To cut a long story short, let us imagine a farmer say, who has a murderous quarrel with a local vicar. The farmer, with his loaded shotgun over his arm, passes the vicarage one day, with quite other things on his mind than murder. The farmer trips and falls, and the gun, following a crazy trajectory, goes off and kills the vicar who is drinking tea at his desk.
Shakespeare, Conrad, Melville, or Thomas Hardy (all writers of classic Tragedy) would have no problem in linking Mind, Intention, and Nature here. We ourselves are left feeling rather lonely with our primitive “objective” concepts of the “random.”
Watch this Space!
contributions from our readers with regard to the Leader:
“Couldn’t lead a Yak to a muffin” (Angela)
“Couldn’t lean a Quorn Pasty to a pissoir” (John)
“Couldn’t lead a Muslim to the local DSS” (Catherine)
“May God save us from Panzerben’s Intellectual Sex.”
(the Brentford Polonius, Editor of Magonia Magazine
The Leader
HQ the Combat Diaries
Portobello Road
Notting Hill
London
Meantime, between your belief crises, don’t forget the Bad Man’s new story, Memoirs of a Fallen Programmer in Phenomena Magazine http://www.phenomenamagazine.com
This is the Bad Man (“he got no respect fer nuffink”) on his best behaviour - no swearing, no debunking of sceptical rationalizations (well just a little now and then).
And no gorgeous naked women, and no slagging off the Fortean Times. Disappointed? You will not be – check it our now! Memoirs of a Fallen Programmer will join seven archived cutting-edge articles by Colin Bennett in Phenomena. They are:
Chemtrails: A New Mystery of the Skies
Cargo Cults and Beyond
A New Ufology
The Alien is Under Construction
The Dream Life of Prototypes
Imagine
Lee Harvey Oswald in New Orleans
George
Mensche introduces Colin Bennett’s great new book,
An American Demonology. Bennett writes:
“Project Blue Book was the official US Air Force investigation into the UFO
phenomenon. Captain Edward Ruppelt was in charge of Blue Book in the early 1950s, and after he had left the Air Force, he wrote The Report into Unidentified Flying Objects. Good books by insiders involved in the early development of the Industrial Military Complex are most rare. Ruppelt’s book is a unique and personal glimpse inside the management systems, politics, and burgeoning technology of what was to become an American national institution as well as a military organization.
Report into Unidentified Flying Objects is a personal testimony, to be put on the shelf alongside Che Guevara’s Reminiscences of the Cuban Revolutionary War and T.E. Lawrence’s Seven Pillars of Wisdom. We see power struggles, personality clashes, military intrigue, Intelligence paranoia, cover-ups and conspiracies. Ruppelt’s story is one of struggles within the Air Force and indeed struggles within himself regarding loyalties, policy, and the need for keeping secrets. As a humble USAF Reserve captain with few resources and staff, he was handed no less the task of analyzing what in all likelihood was an alien invasion!
I specialize in portraiture, as exemplified by my book on George Adamski, Looking for Orthon, and my prize-winning biography of Charles Fort, Politics of the Imagination. Literary portraiture tells us a lot more than mere mechanical research and the sand-grain piling up of case history upon case history.
The truth about a human being lies in the interplay of image, symbol, and metaphor between culture and personality, time and history, and I hope I have explored this unique drama in An American Demonology.”
This book has only just arrived in Britain at Turnaround Distribution after one of the longest gestations in literary history. Chances are that it will not be in the shops now before Christmas. It can be ordered from any shop however, but anyone who cannot wait that long can get one from Turnaround, and tell them I sent you!
For Chapter list (press here)
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Latest Combat Astonishments
ECETI - Enlightened Contact with Extraterrestrial Intelligence /
Send e-mail to: contact@eceti.org
AWESOME BOOKS AND VIDEOS
http://www.eceti.org/books.htm
ECETI News is part of the public awareness and UFO acclimation project
of ECETI under the Self Mastery Earth Institute, a non-profit
organization that can really use your help. Please visit us on the Web at:
If you think that burning jet fuel did this,
then go to this site:http://www.911proof.com/
Book Review (click here)
Abduction in my Life
by Bruce Maccabee “
... most books on UFOs do not have a good reputation as reading material.
They tend to be the equivalent to garage-manuals containing little more than lists of spare-parts, and most are terrifyingly over-rational. Such books express a case-history medieval scholasticism that would do credit to Aquinas, and such tomes are instrumental in turning away wider and more general interest in Ufology. What a pleasure it is then to receive Bruce Maccabee’s novel Abduction in My Life. A UFO researcher of renown, he has written a book about the UFO experience with which one can curl up with and read like a Dickens novel.”
For a review of the books below by Jeremy Harte, Daniel H. Wilson, and Art Greenfield (press here)
Features Section
Philomena Muinzer-Bennett
(writing as Phil O’Brien) author of Memories of the Irish Israeli War and Coldplay Look at the Stars
Enemy Action
presents
The Magonian View by Stuart Miller (press here)
The Fortean Times Appreciation Society by Josh
Top Secrets!
To access secret files 1-20 (click here)
For Einstein’s own original text (press here)
Pro-Semitism (click here)
(1) Israel To Be Major Oil Transit Point
(2) Roger Uchtmann comments
(3) Israel boycott feud resurfaces
(4) Proto-ubermensch?
(5) A Partnership between Israel and NATO?
News of Araby (click here)
(1) Latest Terror Assassinations Baghdad Burning http://riverbendblog.blogspot.com by Riverbend
(2) Does Zarqawi Have An Infinite Supply of lieutenants, deputies, aides, associates, second-in-commands, etc?
Debby says Support our Troops!
(Because we are going to need them!)
Make a donation
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Benevolent Fund
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Debby says check out these books!
for sample text (click here) for sample text (click here)
for sample text (click here) for sample text (click here)
Poetry Olympics Collection by Michael Horowitz (Editor)
King Kong by Paul A. Woods (Editor)
Debby says check out HEADPRESS publishing!
https://securehost2.zen.co.uk/headpress/default.asp
Debby says
Check out this magazine!
PARANOIA: The Conspiracy Reader
{ Issue 40,
WINTER 2006:
PRE-ORDER NOW!
ONLY $6.00!}
A Future War with China? The Alien is Under Construction
ARTICLE AUTHOR
Wandering Planets Scott Corrales
Psychologizing Andrea Runyan
NASA Cover-up in Space Joseph Gutheinz
The Four Horsemen of Oil Dean Henderson
China's Plan to Destroy America Al Hidell
Hartford Van Dyke and the Pearl Harbor Story Joan d'Arc
The Alien is Under Construction Colin Bennett
A Neo-Con Counter-Conspiracy Will Banyan
The Underground Mystery of the Dero Jack Grimes
Alien Medical Interview Dr. Roger Leir
Debby says
Check out these web sites!
http://www.ask.ne.jp/~hankaku/english/np9y.html Atomic Bomb Chronology 1947-1979
http://www.serpo.org/
Project Serpo: the Zeta Reticuli Exchange Program
http://www.serpo.org/
The biggest and most up-to-date portfolio of rockets, missiles, and satellite technology
you have ever seen!!! (Warning – do not try and download this file as one!)
http://cryptome.org/satspy/satspy-eyeball.htm
Regular Contributors
Radio Sarfatti: Starfleet Command (click here)
to read an account of the work of Drunvalo Melchizedek
Tim
Ventura of American Antigravity interviews
Jack Sarfatti (click here)
http://www.americanantigravity.com/
Radio Martinez (click here)
Report on
Laser Beam Technology at Stanford
It is now possible to SWITCH ON AND OFF A BEAM OF LASER LIGHT
100,000,000,000 TIMES/SECOND! / IS 10 TIMES FASTER THAN THE
HIGHEST PERFORMANCE PRODUCTS
AVAILABLE TODAY! –
By John Markoff, N Y Times Staff Writer, Thursday, October 27, 2005
The latest on the Dan Burische scandal:
letter from George Knapp, of Klas-TV
Military Matters (click here)
editor
Zelda Rabinowitz
‘Something’ felled an M1A1 Abrams tank in Iraq – but what?
Mystery behind Aug. 28 incident puzzles Army officials
Shortly before dawn on Aug. 28, an M1A1 Abrams tank
on routine patrol in Baghdad “was hit by something”
that crippled the 69-ton behemoth.
Army officials still are puzzling over what that “something” was.
Filer’s Files Updated (click here)
Brian Vike’s Canadian UFO Reports (click here)
Arcturus Books December
Cataogue (click here)
Believer’s Wives
Below are four snaps sent in by Combat Diaries supporter and fans.
The first two show Stacy of Knightsbridge going into Kensington Town Hall
snapped (quickly!) by her boy-friend when she went in to apply for Housing Benefit.
The other two shots are from Kayleigh of Bow and Trish of Hampstead.
Kayleigh is in her mum’s kitchen, and Trish is in her study room at Magdalen College, Oxford University.
Strutting Tuffty’s Diary By Patricia Farson and Magonia Me Charlie
Take this chance-of-a-lifetime opportunity to download
five episodes of one of the most popular soap on the web!
Patricia Farson: is that an alien under your sporran John, or are you just pleased to see me?
Read more here about the adventures of the Strutting Tuffty,
the retired, would-be, executive, or pseudo, absent, or non-existent Editor of the Fortean Times.
Bumper Christmas Tuffty Download (press here)
Take this chance-of-a-lifetime opportunity to download five episodes of the second most popular soap on the web!
The Fortean Times UFO Investigation Team (click here)
PROD THE VILLAGE POSTMISTRESS TONTO
Bumper Fortean Times UFO Investigation Team
Christmas Download (press here)
Entertainment:
Reggie Bacon’s Flophouse
‘Ere –‘ave a larff at this!
Tell the Difference Competition!
Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen (clickhere) Lamb and Lynx Gaede (click here)
Peasant Culture Update
Doomsday Report:
Archives of the Last Days of Mankind on a screen near you!
Religion
Ned Ludd’s Protestant News
(hot from Brentford Leisure Centre) (click here)
“I thank the Lord I've found a good Christian woman at last.”
John, can you please get someone
else to design your covers?
something more like this perhaps
Retreat, Counselling and Confessions
ESN Mutant News
our occasional Combat Hospice newsletter, is edited by and Margot Fontez and
Alicia Tomkins. In this issue of the Combat Diaries our intrepid pair present their
investigation of the
Great Nigerian Letter Scam
At last the Brentford Rapture Revealed:
The Leisure Centre Documents Released!
“One of the best-kept secrets in the world is the work of what is known as the Nigerian Team
(called by the Looney Left “PBB”, or Pseudo Black British). They have an office at the
side of Magonia magazine in Brentford Leisure Centre.
The Team consists of illegal Nigerian immigrants. They of course receive much liberal
assistance from UK Social Security and are sponsored of course by Claire Short who
is known to have cracked more mirrors in Brentford than the Luftwaffe. We have received
good evidence that Ms Short had secretly applied for the job of Deputy Leader of
Brentford Leisure Centre, where she will join the First Quorn Communist Shock
Battalion and no doubt write poetry
to canisters containing essence of Virtual Sausage Sandwich Special.
Before
In Between
After
Finale:Claire with Brentford Traffic Warden Number 1
But back to the Nigerians. Unbeknown to the DSS, these exhausted traffic
wardens spend their leisure time pouring out a deluge of letters that go all over
the world asking people for permission to send vast amounts of money to them...” (press here)
More on this later as astounding news has just come into the Combat Diaries office.
STOP PRESS
Cryptozoological creature (Smallfoot) photographed in Brentford Leisure Centre!
The effect of foraging for Quorn scraps can be seen in the little fellow’s lower regions.
Speculation is rife that this what happened to Quorn-eating
Mr Acheson (left), a municipal gardener who disappeared in mysterious circumstances
after a surfeit of Quorn
Essence of Roast Platter.
MORE ON THIS STRANGE PHENOMENON IN THE NEXT ISSUE OF THE COMBAT DIARIES!
BeforeQuorn After Quorn
Patricia Farson: well, our little fella gained in one way but lost in another!
Brother Sharkley Asks: Do YOU want to be a Star?
Send us your books, book reviews, articles, and poems,
and we will put your name in flaming blue chemtrails over
Brentford Leisure Centre.
contact sharkley1@panzerben1.fsworld.co.uk
And finally, lest we forget!
