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Hog Productions
CyberHog Unlimited&Network Combat Diaries Present
The Alternative Fortean Times
(beware of imitations)
http://www.combat-diaries.co.uk
Panzerben's Combat Diary 25 for April 2005
Webmaster Stephen Peverley. steve@kingston-design.fsnet co.uk Combat diaries email is: sharkley1@panzerben1.fsworld.cco.uk
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"when we imagine, we create a form of life"
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George Mensche Reports
The Rescue of Jilly Simmons
Jilly Simmons (right above) is a former pelican sceptic whose face unfortunately has been formed by the tensions involved in her constant need to disbelieve all fantastic, magical, and transcendental matters. She suffered also from a tendency to absorb very different and often opposing belief systems. As a belief-consumer (and perhaps a new species of human being – ED) her problem is that she often experiences several crises of belief quite simultaneously. This causes her facial features to resemble those of Michael Jackson when in shock at the prospect of two years in the Fag Tank in Sing-Sing. Jilly was found by Magonian Rationalists on a straw palliasse at the Last Chance Depot behind the Brentford Bus Garage. Gasping for new belief-fixes, she was taken by the Rationalists to the Magonia Magazine HQ at Brentford Leisure Centre where the above picture was taken at a reception for Protestant Unfortunates who still claim that there is nothing behind the veil of the Temple. Jilly is seen here after sceptical re-indoctrination by the noted humanist, the Brentford Polonius (left above). She is being shown as a sample of what scepticism (combined with humanism and rationalism) can do for you. Now scroll down and read all about the fascinating holistic life of Jilly Simmons in our Retreat, Counselling and Confessions section.
(please press the blue headings for access)
hap Chapter 1: Death of an Elite Various authors Chapter 2: Glorious Uncertainties Dr. Rochus Börner Chapter 3: Creationist and Soviet Ideologues Frederick Sweet Chapter 4: The Nukes of 9/11 Jones/Tartaglia Chapter 5: Random No Longer Dr. Danny Penman Chapter 6: Debunking the Debunkers Joel Skousen Chapter 7: Miracles of Mind Targ/Katra Chapter 8: Sex Scandal in the White House Tom Flocco Chapter 9: The Strangest Place on Earth George Knapp Chapter 10: Death of the American Republic Richard Dolan Chapter 11: Synchronicities Peat/Lundstrom Chapter 12: The Lee Harvey Oswald Story Part 1 A.J. Weberman
Editorial
Editor Panzerben briefs his assault squad prior to yet another raid on the Sceptical HQ in Brentford Leisure Centre, the lair of the Magonian Pelicans.
Granny in the Disco
A video has been sent to us of the recent Peter
Jennings TV programme
broadcast by the U.S. ABC Network, entitled:
“THE UFO PHENOMENON:
SEEING IS BELIEVING.” This was a two-hour Primetime Special broadcast on
Thursday, Feb. 24 2005
But for better or for worse, if you are not on TV regularly, you are nobody. Style and performance are the key to success on TV but Carl Sagan, the John De Lorean of Ufology is no longer with us (RIP). Ufologists and scientists score zero on style, and even less on performance, and the lacklustre result was predictable. On this particular programme, the role of Ufologists was predictably that of rather dismal small-town solicitors full of MUFON common sense and practicality. Like MUFON itself, they came off as sober, reliable, and supremely boring. The sceptics “performed” as usual: acting the role of rather faceless, mediocre and plausible “hard working” folk. Thus opposing shades of opinion were delivered by people whose personalities made the Rock of Ages look like the Woodchopper’s Ball. On this TV showing poor pedestrian scepticism fared no better. Like MUFON, scepticism was very much the baffled granny in the disco, with time and era strobing over her face.
None of these pseudo-credible images had anything to do with “fact.” TV is never able to deliver fact, no more than is a still photographer able to deliver the “truth” about a face. What we got was grainy images struggling for prime time, not “facts” at all.
Not even the Communists in their heyday could make TV deliver information in this old hard-wired sense of “facts.” Though of course not politically communist, nevertheless the Old Ufology speaks in the language of this era, which George Orwell might have called Docubox. This is an old communist pre-consumer language game in which there are no similes, metaphors, or images, just archive box numbers and security classifications, and the analogies to collective-farm production statistics from way back when down Comintern Lane. As Arthur Koestler’s novel Darkness at Noon shows, this was the language of Soviet Commissars in the 1950s. In this sense, many of the resulting list-strewn Old Ufology texts are enough to make warthogs roll over and die, cross-eyed with grief. Even the Dean Martin songbook comes off better as a measure of the beloved “real.”
Nowhere in this palsied programme was there ever expressed a sense of awe, wonder, or magic. The commercials in the Peter Jennings show were of a lot more interest compared to all those dour faces giving us low-grade commercials from their own culture which were highly suspicious accounts of “how the universe works” and what is “real” and what is “fantasy.”
Yes, like TV, Old Ufology is dead in the advertising water.
The UFO is worth more than this tatty TV. It represents still an exciting, romantic and deeply mystical phenomenon; it is intellectually erotic, and powerfully inspirational. Its analysis involves disciplines of many vital cultural sectors. As far as being a symbol is concerned, its history and effects, its scandals, and its associated conspiracies have also a glamour that rivals the greatest stars of stage and screen. After some fifty years, the UFO remains very much a futuristic Star performer, and this irresistible fascination is still very much with us. As an entertainment phenomenon alone, the UFO and all its associations still occupy a major sector. We heard nothing of this on the Jennings show. We heard old men, old ideas, old science, and very much Old Ufology. This TV show was a fine expression of Spengler’s Decline of the West in terms of the fall from ethos to technos.
TV cannot give cerebral information to save its very life. Its genius, as ever, is comedy, camp and trash culture, brain always emerging on TV as some kind of curious cripple. Try as it may, the outer world and serious issues emerge inevitably as delicious cartoons stuck permanently in the time of Liberace’s candelabra or Mario Lanza’s pink Cadillac. TV is best left there, in limbo with women “presenters” indistinguishable from Thunderbirds flight attendants, and the men (like all men in makeup) looking vaguely suspicious.
British TV is the ultimate naff – comic as Blackpool tower, daft as Butlin’s Holiday Camp, a Carry On film, or a Bamforth seaside postcard. In Britain, no-one with an IQ above 100 has watched main TV broadcast channels since the State funeral of Ena Sharples forty years ago. Eight years ago the very last generation of UK cerebrals fled to the new-born Web. Other than people who think seriously about a new stage production of Mary Poppins (can we honestly believe that there are human beings who do such things?), the only people left watching TV are over-weight ESN mutants in tower blocks. After ten hours of watching per day, many of the latter reach a point where their only creative option is to take a plunge from the top floor, as happened recently in Brentford, just outside the Leisure Centre. David, a seriously “deprived” 20-stone junk-culture hero, force-fed on Reality TV, the “arts” section of Sunday Supplements, and genetically-modified jamburgers, took the only decision he had taken in his life, and it was a good one. Shaking his Michael Jackson plastic windmill and waving his copy of Dazed and Confused, this fourteen-year-old hero shot down straight from Level 20 of Tower Block 18 to burst through the sunshine roof of a battle-scarred Ford Cortina. By sheer good luck, this vehicle contained John, David’s psychiatric social worker, on his way to a cross-dressing conference in Brighton.
As this caring professional was said to have been undergoing “massive withdrawal symptoms” at the time, it would have been interesting to know what were the last social-democratic thoughts of John, committed as he was to “social improvement.” As for David, that wondrous grey matter by means of which he channel-surfed the 24-hour apocalypse was found bombed-out between John’s boxes of contraceptives, blood-spattered frocks and high heels galore. These objects (rapidly pilfered by ten-year-old wall-sitting harpies) became collector’s pieces. Many were made into badges, banners, and ornaments. They also created a local Brentford forgery industry, equivalent to the night-shirt Delta folk selling “genuine” Egyptian antiques found under the Great Pyramid.
This edifying scene would have been lost to history had there not lived nearby one Jeremy, a trendy photographer. Before the cart-horses and dog-faces could arrive with their hoses, sirens, and forms to fill in, Jeremy took loads of high-quality shots of the scene. His flat-chested willowy girl-friend posed readily in a variety of skimpy frocks, surrounded by blood-soaked Welfare cheques promising to “pay the bearer” etc.
Jeremy’s exhibition of super shots entitled “Death and the Urban Casualty,” was featured in trendy magazines, and there was much chattering-class talk about “cultural theatre” resulting in many delightful claims for “reality.” As dyed-in-the-wool Forteans, we at the Combat Diaries are connoisseurs of all claims for the real. As a piece of “found” art (that art which occurs naturally) the scene at the bottom of Tower Block 18 must have rivaled such marvelous historical junk as the scientific “breakthrough,” the News at Ten, Royal murders, the Dimbleby family, and the Theory of Everything.
Perhaps the last images in their heads were those of the inevitable soap-matter which made up both parties. Perhaps Media is the New State of Matter which many physicists now talk about. Although, like Princess Diana when in a similar unfortunate state, David the Media Mutant (as he came to mythologised in Urban Legend) was said to be still breathing, it is doubtful that either of our two parties suffered much. Like Diana again, all three were probably drifting into infinite episodes of Charlie Chan and both the Inner and the Outer had become one. I call that audience participation with a vengeance.
The Leader HQ the Combat Diaries Portobello Road Notting Hill London
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Chemtrails: A New Mystery of the Skies
Cargo Cults and Beyond
A New Ufology
WARNING: those of sceptical or nervous condition are advised to exercise caution before approaching Phenomena magazine.
Radio Sarfatti press here
Berkeley 1952: The Gifted Children
MetaTheatre press here
Milteer’s Rooms Part 1 a short story by Colin Bennett
“There are characters met in early life who are figures at that gateway of experience when even paving-stones and sorrows are full of fire and magic. These shapes of dawn stamp the lore of an Age upon the young brow, never to be removed. They are remembered through shortness of breath, the first pills on the bedside table, and the flattening curves of compromised inspirations. Such a figure to me was one George Milteer, and everyone in the early 1970s knew 56 Regent Terrace, W11, as Milteer’s Rooms...”
Radio Anscomb press here
ET: Grand Magi or Masters of Illusion?
Galilwheat TV press here
“I'll ask this impertinent question while you're still actively dancing on my bones...
Professor Scott Littleton press here
Introduction to The Gray Alien’s Burden
Strutting Tuffty’s Journal Click here
Episode 2: In which Tuffty Seeks the Priest Hole on the Euston Road
Combat Diary writers Patricia Farson and Magonia Me Charlie (below) report on the latest adventures of the Strutting Tuffty, the almost (or partial, or executive, or retired) editor of the Fortean Times, our sister paper.
It will be remembered that our Hero, in trying to find the Fortean Times Unconvention, mistakenly arrived at the Whirling Dervish Festival at the Commonwealth Institute. Extracting himself from this singular and edifying spectacle, and it being a fine day, he set out on foot to try and find the priest hole on the Euston Road to which it was said the Fortean Times Unconvention had been banished. He was given this information by a writer from the Quality Weekend News and Arts Supplements, who was blacked up with many of his kind in the name of the “Middle England Greets Darkest Africa” cabaret which gave a show at the Whirling Dervish Festival. Here we picture his thoughts as he strides along, anxious to arrive in time to deliver his Paper to an admiring audience. We here give a sneak preview of this Paper, entitled The Essence of Forteanism: the art of the Miniature, the Wonder Cabinet, and all things Small and Beautiful. It’s all homely stuff, good smiles for granny and the kids, the vicar, the yuppy pub at weekends, and good giggles for the left-wing trendy boneheads at the Independent. Here is a sample:
The Nun in the Bun The late heroine Mother Teresa appeared in a cake in a coffee shop in Nashville, Tennessee in 1997. She was not amused, and told the shop to stop selling photos of it.
Radio Martinez: click here
Doty and the Grays “After several years of research, various people have unearthed the possibility of EBE base areas in the Nevada region. Observations from many individuals, some of whom have been threatened by various parties, have led them to the following conclusions...”
Filer’s Files: Latest UFO Reports Click here
UFOs were seen over California, Airborne over Carolinas, District of Columbia, Idaho, Missouri, New Jersey, North Carolina, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Virginia and Washington. Sightings were also reported in Argentina, Brazil, Canada, Mexico and the United Kingdom.
Brian Vike: Canadian UFO Reports click here
“I was standing outside my home letting the dogs out when I looked up like I always do to see the night sky. I heard nothing but at the top of the trees I saw a really bright, white ball of light. It was so bright, but still it didn't hurt my eyes to look at it. The light moved from northeast to the southwest. It did not move fast. I stood there dumb founded at what I was seeing. It moved on over the trees and was gone. Now the next few nights I didn't sleep very well. I did tell my daughter, mom, sisters, and friends. They believed me. I wish I had a picture of it. The pictures you have here on this site come close...”
Military Matters press here
Editor Zelda Rabinowitz
Improvised Explosive Devices used in Iraq by Colonel David Eschel (IDF) and Tanks take a Beating in Iraq by Steven Komarow
Margot Fontez and Alicia Tomkins report on the rescue of Jilly Simmons
“Not at all convinced by the sermons of the Brentford Polonius, the brave Jilly tunnelled out from the Leisure Centre, emerging in a flurry of good Brentford earth at the side of a queue of soap opera androids (read “human beings” great journalism George – ED) at the Quorn Deli Shake n’ Bake...” But the unfortunate Jilly falls into the hands of experimental scientists whose philosophy is Measurement is Truth. Here is Jilly being measured by the rationalist objectivists.
Now read on! press here
Coming Soon:
The Fortean Times UFO Investigation Team
Prod Village Postmistress Tonto
SCENE: A traffic island outside Brentford Leisure Centre. PROD, TONTO, and the VPM stand looking up at the sky. They have telescopes and sample tins, butterfly nets and jam-jars.
TONTO: Look at that up there! PROD: Gerroff! There’s note up there. Them ufoars is roobish. VPM: Is it a lighthouse? TONTO: Is it a bloody what? Have you ever seen a lighthouse hovering over Brentford Leisure Centre? VPM: You can be easily deceived. PROD: It’s a siko-soc, siko what’s-it sikik-social oh bollox to it. I can never do them there stupid big educarteional wierds.
PROD’S mobile rings – Fried Slice, Manager of the Fortean Times is on the line)
FRIED SLICE: Have you trashed that UFO sighting yet? PROD: Dost thou want me to place lead weights around my legs in case I break into a gallop, brother? We’ve trashed Rendlesham, we’ve trashed Timothy Good. Tell Murk to push the B-Feature explainataioni this month and give me and Tonto a break, for Christ’s sake TONTO (grabs mobile) He’s right. This trashing will take time. VPM: I don’t really know. TONTO: Bennett says it is pure information PROD: Bennett is a fooking idiot. FRIED SLICE: That’s right. VPM: I’m not sure. PROD: Bennett is a fooking nutter. TONTO (to TONTO) The Manager says get a move on. PROD: (grabs back mobile) Go get a good load of solid boiled beef and carrots inside thee, brother. There’s note but solid Yorkshire facts here. None of them there soothen boojois illusions, so shurrup!
Sorry – this episode of the adventures of the Fortean Times UFO Annihilation Team has been held over until next month. That’s because we all have better things to do!
TV Review (1) press here
Peter Jennings ABC News UFO Documentary
Hoax
TV Review (2) press here
Wow!!! Did You See That
WEB VIDEO
Blackmail in Top US Mil/Political Ranks Part 2 press here
Arcturus Book Catalogue press here
Books
Get Alex Jones and Paul Joseph Watson's books, ALL Alex's documentary films, films by other authors, audio interviews and special reports. Sign up at Prison Planet.tv - CLICK HERE.
Turnaround Catalogue
Turnaround Publisher Services Ltd Unit 3, Olympia Trading Estate Coburg Road London N22 6TZ Tel: 020-8829-3000 Fax: 020-8881-5088
Politics of the Imagination
Foreword by John Keel Winner of the Anomalist Award for Best Biography 2002
Part 1: Imagination Wars
1900: Strange Events in the Bronx The Yarns of Dickens and Euclid Stories about Stories Enter Sonnabend Religio Americana: Systems Analysis The Damned Imagination Walter Mitty Strikes Back Holy War
Part 2: Facts as Art Form
Gas Lamp-Theatre Mountains, Trials, and Laboratories The Kaiser's Disc Jockey Marketing Belief The New Script
Part 3: Intermediate States
The Absent Brain Knife-Edge Systems Cosmology as Consumerism
Part 4: The Quest for Oswald
Accuracy as Myth Lee Harvey Oswald as Fortean Man
Appendix: Scepticism as Mystique Notes Index
Book Review by Brenda Denzler press here
“Bennett is the first postmodern thinker from within the UFO community to tackle the subject of UFOs.”
Ireland Conference
The Second Irish International UFO Conference 27th/28th August
2005 in the Bush Hotel, Carrick-on-Shannon, Co. Leitrim
The Conference will take place from 10 am to 5.30 pm on Saturday 27th and from 10 am to 6 pm on Sunday. There is a great array of international and national Speakers, each with very different approach and angle on the whole fascinating subject of UFOs, so it promises to be a very educative, interesting and fascinating Conference indeed. Speakers are as follows:
BETTY MEYLER (Ireland) - "The UFO Scene in Ireland Updated. " HAKTAN AKDOGAN (Turkey) "UFOs - the Turkish Perspective" EAMONN ANSBRO (Ireland) - "Communications with ET Intelligence." MIKE BIRD (Canada) - "Canadian Exopolitics -Standing on the Truth" FRANCINE BLAKE (England) - "The Mysteries of Crop Circles." CLINT DENYER (England) - "The Soul of the Paranormal and Hollow Earth". DECLAN GERAGHTY (Ireland) - "There is Life in Space and on other Planets." CHRISTOPHER MARTIN (England) - "Intruders in the Night"
For more information contact betty Meyler, resident, UFO Society of Ireland Spa, Boyle, Co. Rossommon, Ireland Tel. 07196 62844 |
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“Couldn’t lead a Fiction to a Fact.” (George Mensche)
Looking
for Orthon